Background Image

Take a plain paper. Now start drawing random shapes on it. Go on till the shapes get distributed so evenly that they don't look like individual shapes anymore. They don't look like something drawn on paper either. It becomes one image which could just have been on that paper since ever.

Is that what happens with our mind? Having a recurring random thought for a considerable time.. could it start appearing like a part of the mind? Like a background that we don't notice any more but take for granted?

(If that happens, how refreshing it would be to suddenly get up one day and realize that that background has faded away.. and what remains is just the good old plain mind.. with perhaps a new wannabe background thought. And being the curious creatures that we are, we would keep feeding that thought and let it settle down as the new background and then perhaps slowly learn to stop noticing it.*)

That's why they say everyone has their own copy of the world. Cause each mind has its own background thought drawn on it and the world gets superimposed over that background.**

* Another interesting thing would be to recognize the individual thought that made the background
** And what if it's not a uniform background, but scattered graffiti? Then the graffiti would get superimposed on the world! Whoa! What variety we must have!

Journey

A journey that you take together.. 
Even the anticipation of the journey...
When you are far away in a new world.. 
And you make that world yours, together.


Your habits are often broken then.. As you honor new surroundings.
Soon you adopt a new pattern. And caress it with affection.


Even this pattern will be broken, when the journey ends..


But something... a very special something,
Will travel with you farther, on the next one.

Imagining Happiness

I like trees. Their green color fascinates me. When I lived in hostel we had huge Nilgiri (Eucalyptus) trees in the campus. I loved leaning against them during evenings while I listened to radio. I used to touch them as a form of greeting while passing by them. Nilgiri are among my most favorite trees because of their long, characteristic stem. And of course, then there's the scent.

Most of the times when I'm traveling, even within the city, I keep staring at the trees. When they shed all their leaves and get brand new ones, when they change colors, when they get flowers, all that makes me happy. This is the season of Booch flowers. I haven't spotted many Booch trees on my current route. I think I'll go for a drive on the road where those trees are ample. They make excellent white carpet that makes me feel like a princess, even though I don't step on them when I can help it. Instead, I pick up few flowers. Again, beautiful scent.

There's a difference between observing them from inside a vehicle and actually touching them.

The happiness I feel by watching a tree is merely an acknowledgement of that tree's existence. There's a subtle difference in the happiness I feel when I actually touch a tree. And I realize this difference only when I touch it.

Sometimes, we imagine happiness. The so called happiness you feel when you observe something is imaginary. The real* happiness comes from action and experience. I am not saying the imaginary happiness is wrong or bad or misleading. In fact I can say for myself that it covers major part of happiness. And it is equally valuable for me. Happiness I derive from listening to music for example. But then there are rare moments when I am suddenly reminded of a song, few specific words, and I think 'Oh god! Now I know that emotion. Now I understand that word. It is present in this very moment. It is real right now.' At such moments I realize I had not understood the song I so like! Outside that particular moment, that understanding regains the shape of imagination. It is only in that moment when you are living it, that you have "experienced" the happiness.

*(I am using the words imaginary and real because I can't think of better words. If it's any comfort, I'll remind you that 'imaginary numbers are as real as real numbers are imaginary'. If this increased discomfort, I am sorry.)

The Game Of Room Of Requirements

Those who don't know Harry Potter world -

Room of Requirements is a room (duh!) which opens when you ask it what exactly you want it to be. It turns into the room that you require.

It's so much fun to play the game of room of requirements in real life. Next time you get a chance, I recommend this game to you. Let me explain the details:

Recognize something about you that people around you may be deeply interested in knowing. Like, which team do you support in the IPL. (well, use your own fillers please!) Now, let them go round and round and round around that question. Discuss IPL in length with them. Discuss the good and bad about each team. Discuss the controversies. The forms of players. Everything. If you don't give away your favorite team, they'll start making fun of various teams in turn, looking for some reaction from you. Remain calm. Laugh with them. Or defend each team. Whatever. Make them ASK you explicitly, 'which is your favorite team?' only then you tell them.

I know it sounds silly with this example of IPL.

But the game?.. It's fun! It's awesome fun! Imagine a scene where 'favorite IPL team' is replaced by that cool piece of information and 'people' is replaced by the right name that finds the information cool. This game should at least make you smile. Though, in my case, I almost audibly laughed while my sister is sleeping besides me!

Twisted Wires

It is so easy to study from a book. Yet! So difficult!

I hope I was learning and applying all the "knowledge" I was expected to gain during my college on my day to day work. I do feel happy to work - improving my skills, learning new ones. But those skills are more about technically managing things than applying knowledge.

It would be wonderful if I had different problems to solve in all 10 or so subjects. And that if it was for my enthusiasm to solve those problems that I was learning the subject. Should such problems be real life ones? Or artificial / faked assignments? I have come to realize that just because a problem is real life, and has to be solved, it does not become the right problem for you to solve. You should still do it. Cause, well, it has to be solved. But with the understanding of what it holds AND does not hold for you.

The real life puzzles that satisfy your hunger for your subject are difficult to come knocking the door. What do I do? Go out looking for them? All on my own? Sounds fabulous, but may be (or may not be) impractical at my level. Maybe after I grow lot more as compared to today.. "someday.."

So, what I can do today, is to solve artificial assignments => create artificial assignments => know the subject enough to create potential artificial assignments => read the books.

Oh wait wait... How is this for a real life problem to solve -

Create artificial assignments that would help you to learn more about your chosen subjects because you may not come across potential real life problems at the right time(?) / ever(?).

Now to solve this real life problem; I need to study. There! The situation is now ideal.

P.S. Song of the moment - "Golmaal hai bhai sab golmaal hai"
         Smiley of the moment - :P
         Hashtag of the moment - #facepalm

जो चीजें बेजान थीं, अब तक जिंदा हैं

अकबर का लोटा रखा है शीशे की अलमारी में

राना के "चेतक" घोड़े की एक लगाम

जैमल सिंह पर जिस बन्दूक से अकबर ने

दागी थी गोली |

रखी है !

शिवाजी के हात का कबजा

"त्याग राज" की चौकी, जिस पर बैठ के रोज़

रियाज किया करता था वो|

'थुन्चन' की लोहे की कलम है|

और लड़ाऊँ तुल्सीदास की 

'खिलजी' की पगड़ी का कुल्ला..|

जिन में जान थी, उन सब का देहांत हुआ 

जो चीजें बेजान थीं, अब तक जिंदा हैं !!

- गुलजार 

Things I Missed...

I was looking at a favorite poem from 11th std Marathi textbook. It triggered the memory of all those things that I missed in my student life...

1. well, lets start with the poem itself -

प्रेम म्हणजे (What love means) by Kusumagraj. The poem is an advice to the lover about how he should propose and what exactly love is (and, what it is not). The professors are supposed to explain this poem to the class full of 16 years olds. I din't have Marathi as a subject. I missed the session which I've always imagined to be most hilarious! Go read it if you haven't. It is verrry amusing. (Sorry Kusumagraj.. I do accept it's one of my all time favorites :D)

2. I had no proxy for my engineering years. My friend tried it once. My professor caught it. All other proxies in that attendance got caught because of me. When I learnt it, I laughed and told her not to try it again. One of the side effects of teachers knowing you. ;-)

3. Spending a night in college without permission. I was in women's college and security used to lock it at 6pm each day. I could still have done it. One day I even went to college all prepared. (except any thought to food or rain) But people (friends and mom) gave me such a harsh NO! that I din't do it. I regret it. I should've ignored them. For consolation, I got to sneak into college early morning once. I went to the rooftop, the lift room and scribbled my signature and I was here message everywhere with chalks I used to "collect" from the classrooms.

4. Participating in Firodiya or Purushottam karandak. The most prestigious inter-college drama competitions around here. Again, I could've done that. But I don't regret it. The competitions demanded you to forget about everything else and just get engrossed in them for quite some duration. I wasn't ready to miss the lectures. Whatever lectures I attended. But I used to sigh at the performances.

5. Winning. After school, where I took part in various competitions and won a few prizes, I hardly participated in any competitions in college. And when I did, I had no hunger to win. Holds true for my university exams as well. I felt no pull to grab a nice score. Simply read whatever you enjoy in the subject, and be done. This attitude was very comfortable and enjoyable. I did nothing to change it. I don't regret it :)

I guess that's all. Well, the biggest regret is taking Embedded Systems as elective when I could've taken Software Architecture or better, High Performance Networks (taught by my latest favorite teacher). I had this phobia of hardware subjects and thought I'd take the last chance to break it. I. regret. taking. ES. It was a miscalculated move. I somehow survived...! No injuries. Thank goodness.

But frankly.., 

taking any other subject was too sane a decision :P

My Wish Comes Trueeeee.............!

It is more likely that you've not seen me going crazy. If that is true, I won't tell you to try to imagine my avatar tonight. If, however, you are among those who've witnessed madness in my eyes and a passion in my voice at any time, well, take the highest you can remember, multiply it by 7 and there you know what was my state tonight!

KK........        LIVE. IN. CONCERT.

That's what has happened to me tonight! Remember this post? When I talked about how I miss KK concert every year? After six years of waiting, I've finally been there! The experience still has its after effects on me....

I have -  

A strained neck cause I was looking up at the stage for solid two and a half hours.

A burning throat cause I sang(read shouted) each song along with him. Plus cheered louder than my capacity.

Fingers hitting all the wrong keys on the keyboard cause they are finding it difficult to get instructions from the slightly fuzzy brain.

Hurting heels cause all the time I jumped high in the air or did rapid small jumps (like jogging at the spot.. at the pace of Abhishek Bachchan's "jhig-jhig-jhig-jhig" in Raavan). Sometimes also moving my head left right or up down with my legs. (Well, I did many versions tonight. Shame I no more take warm ups in dance classes.. would've come handy!)

I had only known KK to be a great singer. Tonight, I realized he is also A Star. He knows how to entertain his audience. Amazing body language. Rightful confidence. Apt movements. Good talking. That magical smile shining through his eyes. And most importantly, that one Divine Voice that I kept drinking tonight! Experiencing him feeling the song as he sings. It is totally. totally. Divine!

I went there with my friend. Both of us BIG fans of KK. Now absorbed in the concert. And we got separated by the crowd. So, I am enjoying the concert. Then KK takes a break from singing and the other musicians have a go at their instruments. I come back to sanity for those few minutes. And realize that I am now surrounded by boys! Boys on my left, boys on my right, behind me, in front of me! And there I had been singing at top of my voice, jumping up and down, putting my hands in the air, punching the air etcetra etcetra. If that worries you, calm down. For one, everyone was engrossed in the singing. And I anyways had so much empty space around me that at least three more people could've fit there. I needed that much space to do all that I was doing...! Guess people had to move away :)

Well, back to the main track...

Sreeparna (that's the other KK fan in this story aka my friend) did not allow me to try getting KK's autograph. (She can bring me to senses some times. And I hate it!) And I wasn't sure if KK was going to travel tonight by air. (Otherwise I also thought of going to the airport and waiting for him to arrive. Could've still tried it if dad wasn't waiting for me back home!) So we decided to go home like sane (ahem!) people. Telling each other how much we want solitude tonight. That we don't want to go back to the routine just now. Not till this hangover is gone. (My throat still hurts 3 hours after the concert.)

Talking about hangover, I got totally drunk tonight. With whatever magical potion KK served me. Why otherswise, did I sing each of his song as if I sung them for him?? Be it Tu Hai Aasama Mein or Mera Pehla Pehla Pyar or Pal or Dil Kyon Ye Mera Shor Kare?? I don't find any sense in it. Either I am not in the state to look for sense or it IS utter rubbish. But I did it. And what I did can not be denied. I screamed for him. Sang for him. Clapped for him. And thus for myself.

Tonight, I was in that state which is hard to describe when you sober down enough to describe it.

Tonight was one of the best times I've ever had. My wish came true. Thanku Thanku Thanku Thanku Thanku to all the known unknown factors and people who brought this night to me.

Please Don't Hit Me ;-)

आई वास प्लेयिंग विथ थे एडिटर ऑफ़ ब्लॉगर टुडे. थिस इस ओने पोस्ट ठाट मे बेकोमे वैरी इर्रितातिंग. सो आई विल कीप इत शोर्ट. आई जुस्त वांटेड तो सी हाउ इंग्लिश सौन्ड्स व्हेन यू व्रिटे इत विथ हिंदी स्क्रिप्ट ओन. आई मस्त अदमित इत सौन्ड्स रेअल्ली वेइरद.

Aah! Ok ok. I'll write it again in proper alphabet:

"I was playing with the editor of blogger today. This is one post that may become very irritating. So I will keep it short. I just wanted to see how English sounds when you write it with Hindi script on. I must admit it sounds really weird."

(I had to change some spellings so as to make the Hindi writing read somewhat closer to the English pronunciation! For example, I is spelled as Aai)