That Healthy Pain

One day in my third year of engineering, I was sitting in a lecture of DSP (Digital Signal Processing. It's enough that I remember the full form.)

On the first bench. (Maybe one of my first bencher friends was absent that day. Woah! How come?)

I was looking at the black board and ma'm. And I was thinking, not of digital signals, but the pain in my body after yesterday's dance classes. (I used to have 3 of them on weekends, back to back, where I played assistant to my teacher)

My whole body was paining. Even the bench was hurting me. And I suddenly thought what a beautiful pain it was! Making me aware of my body.. Making me feel alive...! And that very moment I took off from the lecture.

I was thinking of dance. I had started smiling in the middle of the lecture. I wanted to be in the corridor. I wanted to be on the stairs. Out. Out in the open air. I wanted to dance. To dance despite the pain I was feeling. The pain was no more tiring me. It was making me feel wonderful.

That was probably first time when I experienced that certain kinds of pains can be beautiful. At least that's the first time I remember. I guess that is a memory I shouldn't give up on. Not to 'take off' from the present; but to remember that it is worth having a healthy pain.

To Pray

Why do we pray, wish, hope?

There are innumerable things we would like to change. Right from today's headline to our hidden fears...
And so many things which we would like to remain forever. The security of being a part of our family or community, the courage we gather for taking up a challenge we must take up...,

Can we really control things? Nope. And we know that we can't. That is why we pray, wish, hope.

But does that help? When I was a kid, if I said something bad, my grandparents used to tell me to be careful about what I say, cause God would simply, literally grant me whatever I ask for. I remember ridiculing it and yet trying not to say anything that I might regret later. Later I stopped asking for something every time I visited a temple. If I don't feel complete devotion I just utter a simple greeting and be done. But when I do pray, I try to wish for the exact thing I want. I believe it would work, not because there is a God waiting to fulfill my wishes, but because it has become one of the ways to meditate about what I really want. Sometimes I have wondered that I could use this method to educate myself to want what I think I should want. But every time, it turned out that what 'I should want' is really what 'I do want'. There is only one way for the meditation to work. To be absolutely honest. Cause if we are not, we can't be devoted to our wishes. Devotion comes from honesty. And that is all we have in our hands.

To be honest.

That is the best way to do things. With complete honesty. Acting honest. Trying honest. Hoping and wishing honest. And praying honest.

This Birth, This Life Should Be Loved A Hundred Times

या जन्मावर या जगण्यावर शतदा प्रेम करावे

चंचल वारा या जलधारा भिजली काळी माती

हिरवे हिरवे प्राण तशी ही रुजून आली पाती

सहा ऋतुंचे सहा सोहळे येथे भान हरावे

या जन्मावर या जगण्यावर शतदा प्रेम करावे

बाळाच्या चिमण्या ओठांतून हाक बोबडी येते

वेलीवरती प्रेम प्रियेचे जन्म फुलांनी घेते

नदीच्या काठी सजणासाठी गाणी गात झुरावे

या जन्मावर या जगण्यावर शतदा प्रेम करावे

या ओठांनी चुंबून घेईन हजारदा ही माती

अनंत मरणे झेलून घ्यावी इथल्या जगण्यासाठी

इथल्या पिंपळपानावरती अवघे विश्व तरावे

- मंगेश पाडगावकर

Today is India's Independence Day. 

This poem is not part of the Independence Day celebrations. It was written with poet's local surroundings in mind. And it is very mild when compared to poems dedicated to the nation. Frankly, it is very difficult to choose one poem to share on Independence Day. I was listening to people talking about specialties of India on radio. Someone mentioned the 6 seasons experienced in the country and the marvelously written line from this poem came to my mind.

This is one of the poems that have stayed with me. Another blend of nature with human life by the poet.

Below is an attempt at translation. As soon as I finish reading the translation, I realize how beautiful the original poem reads.. :)

"This birth, this life should be loved a hundred times.

Playful breeze, these streams, the drenched black soil

These weeds have come up as lush green lives

Six festivals of six seasons, the mind gets lost in them.

This birth, this life should be loved a hundred times.

The birdlike tiny lips of the kid call in sweet voice

The flowers on a vine are but the birth of a lover's love

She sings and longs for her dear at the river bank...

This birth, this life should be loved a hundred times.

I shall kiss this soil a thousand times

Infinite deaths should be accepted for one chance to live here

The whole universe would rest on a leaf of the peepal tree of this land"

- Mangesh Padgaonkar

सुंदर मी होणार 2 : I shall be beautiful 2

At the end of this post, I mentioned the poem सुंदर मी होणार (I shall be beautiful). Here it is:

जुनी इंद्रिये, जुना पिसारा, सर्व सर्व झडणार

नव्या तनूचे, नव्या शक्तिचे पंख मला फुटणार

सुंदर मी होणार, सुंदर मी होणार - 

मृत्यू म्हणजे वसंत माझा, मजवरती फुलणार

सौंदर्याचा ब्रह्मा तो मज सौंदर्ये घडणार

सौंदर्ये घडणार, सौंदर्ये घडणार

- Poet Govind, as mentioned in the play Sundar Mi Honar by Pu La Deshpande

(The poet is handicapped. He imagines death as the event that would discard the old body and present him with a brand new one. New body. New strength. Death, would be like Spring. And the God of creation of beauty, shall work on his beauty himself.)

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Do I believe in the literal concept? I don't know. I do not bother myself too much about the concept of rebirth. But this poem is surely wonderful as a metaphor...

When things come to an end, they make way for new ones.

Bronzo the Beast

[I wrote this post somewhere in January. It got lost somewhere in my drafts. Here it goes..]

I finally purchased a new laptop. It took exactly 1 month to arrive. When I saw the huge thing I realized I have bought something significant after a long time. Been around 7 years since I bought a mobile phone, don't remember when I bought a wrist watch last time, and I've already used my last laptop so extensively that it gave up last week... shut down with a sharp sound.. and I don't expect it to work anymore.

So here this machine arrives...
It is biiig! 17.3" and I had no idea how big it would be! Heavy. 3.41kg. Lovely anti-glare display with 1600x900 HD+
I wish it was sturdy too.. It is just a heavy machine which you have to handle with utmost care. And I am not yet used to the keyboard.

This thingi is bronze in color. So it is huge AND it has its own character. On first night, I couldn't sleep cause I kept thinking it was too good a screen for me and too huge a machine. It was like a monster who was in my room and I thought maybe I should get up and put it out of the room in order to be able to get any decent sleep. I actually slept in a different room next night. But still woke up in the middle of the night thinking if I should get rid of it. I had given a name to my last laptop. So I gave a name to this guy too.. It's called "Bronzo". Trust me, the name doesn't help either. I should probably change it to "Goofy" or something to make it less heavy.

Do I really own Bronzo?? This is a really heavy machine. (I know I've already said it enough times.. but it IS!) I love it despite the not so good points. And I am overwhelmed by it. I better get used to it quickly. Even though I'd spoil myself by doing so..! Lovely screen... Lovely...

[I still love it. I am still overwhelmed. Luckily I don't need to carry it anywhere as of now. So I am totally enjoying my beasty]

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Here are the pics..

 

The Vaio is real. Exactly half of Bronzo.

This Santro, however, is a toy car.