Sep 11, 2014

Horcrux: Sans Belief

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Belief is a wonderful thing. If you have it, you have enough. And if you lose it, nothing can make up for it.

How people carry on with things, even after losing their belief in those things, is a big puzzle for me.

How can you do something that you don't believe in? Doing that is disconnecting your'self' from your decisions. It is somewhat like creating a horcrux. Where you just want to carry on so bad that you would agree to even weaken your soul. Except that, here, you (may or) may not perform an act of extreme cruelty against anyone else other than yourself.

I hope I never have to make such a horcrux in my life.

Jul 21, 2014

Resonance : অনুরণন (Anuranan)

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Yeah. There's a movie with that name. Kind of ordinary movie, except for this concept. Resonance.
And this one concept makes that movie unforgettable.

I watched that movie in Bengali, which I do not understand, save for the sanskrit words. So I guess I only got the essence. But that was enough to convey this concept.

The hero returns from an official site visit, completely mesmerized by Kangchenjunga. And when his friend wishes she could see the mountain, he takes her to The Great Banyan in Kolkata. The Kangchenjunga is resonated through The Great Banyan. There is no comparison between a mountain and a tree. But they both convey the same quality. And give rise to same emotions.

Many times, our thoughts seem to jump from one memory to another. These memory can seem to be completely unconnected. But our mind doesn't care about that. It wants to jump, and it does.

When I revised some of those "jumps" with the concept of Resonance, I started seeing the connection between different memories.

Last monsoon, I was in a remote (think as remote as you can) village in central India. And the aggressive rains and winds made the bamboos sway to their wish, as if in a trance. That scene got registered in my mind. For a long time I did not see any reason for the strong emotion I felt for that memory. But then I realized that it resonated some of the choreography I adored. The Khwaja song from the movie Jodha-Akbar, My Wish Comes True from Kisna. Yeah! I know! Difficult for anyone to see the resonance unless I show them the exact scenes. But I wonder if the visuals would reveal the resonance anyway! The bamboo was resonating the strong emotions associated with those songs. They all had the devotion, submission and claim that one thinks of, when one wonders about the most precious desires of the heart.

Recently, I made a simple spelling mistake on mobile. Which was a result of muscle memory taking charge in a moment of absent-mindedness. And that resonated the dancer in my past, wanting to gain control of her muscle memory. So that she could switch between 'autopilot' and 'self-drive' whenever she wanted. The madness I've experienced for dance jumped from my past and caught me unaware. Left me with an awe. Now I could see that dancer from a distance. After exiting that madness. And after realizing that the madness hasn't really left me, it is still there, waiting to pounce itself on me at the simplest of opportunity.

Maybe resonance is simply a romantic analogy for how our brain processes our memories and experiences. But it does go a long way, knowing things about us that not many can know. So it plays with us like not many can.

Feb 18, 2014

From The Dark To The Bright?

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We say with such simplicity that we want every color in our life.. then why do we dislike the dark phases so much? Why don't we accept them the way we accept the bright phases? The dark ones are also colors, aren't they? When we get surrounded by them, why do we suddenly start realizing that we don't like the dark colors?

Why is it so difficult to deal with situations when your loved ones suffer? When you see them in trouble, what makes you forget that everything in life provides you with a chance to learn and grow?

Vulnerability, is it cool only when we invite it in our life? Humbleness, does it shine only when we choose to see the glory of nature? Why do we believe that those who have received vulnerability from life are miserable?

Maybe tough times are not meant to test our toughness. Maybe such times want to teach us that while the solutions would be found with a cool head, the strength would come from the heart.

Then, how fortunate it is, that during such times, we get to see the love coming around? We see blessings, wishes and hopes pouring from all over, telling us that our canvas will be filled with all bright colors once again..

And so, we realize that our love isn't the only strength we have.. we also have another strength, which is not generated by us, and hence, not subjected to the weakness we suffer from.

To that strength then!

Nov 24, 2013


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If contradictions do not exist, then all that we're seeing around is transition. A foot kept forward, yet, a foot remaining behind in that old place.

And if we see it that way, transition is real for most part of the life. So do I expect to "see" contradictory actions for most part of the life as well?

I do not, actually. I expect to see contradictions only when a boundary is crossed. But such boundaries will not be well defined, right? They would mostly be just notional.

In fact, they may be so blur that the only way I would be able to identify them would be by observing a contradiction..

Does that make contradiction an indicator?

But wait....!

That's the point, right? Contradiction is nothing BUT an indicator for something else that is happening in background?

Ah! So to clear all the confusion, seems that contradiction is not a state. It is just an indicator for a changing phase.


I should try to apply this argument more explicitly to my Masters' project.. see if it helps in understanding the project environment any better....

Oct 25, 2013

चंद्राची सांज आणि दुपारीचा तोरा

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सांजेचे हे रूप.. हळद आणि गुलालाने सजलेले..
हे रूप दुपार कधीच घेऊ शकत नाही.
तिला फार तर ढगांची ओढणी.
पण हा श्रुंगार सांजच करू जाणे.

कधी कधी चंद्राची ओढ असं काही करायला भाग पाडत असेल सांजेला..
सांजेचा हा श्रुंगार पाहुन चंद्र तार्‍यांचा लवाजमा मागे सोडून अवेळी उगवतही असेल.

आणि ती दुपार, तिला हे सारं अनोळखी.
तिला स्वतःची तळपदार, मिश्कील ऐट.
तिचा खेळ आणि तिचा काळ दोन्ही वेगळे.
दाहक, निर्भीड, आपल्यातच परिपूर्ण.