Feb 14, 2012

सुंदर मी होणार : I Shall Be Beautiful

Aah! Update time...

Boings! I left my job back in November. Spent three months preparing for GATE for doing Post Grad from one of the IITs. I gave GATE on Sunday. Messed up. So now I've got to think what to do next and how to do it better than this exam. :)

Last night I was thinking how it would be if life could be fast forwarded by some 10-15 years.. I'd be settled already.. I'd know how it looks to me.. I'd have a pattern set and I'd simply be following it. A contrasting situation from today. (Life begins at 40, eh?)

But of course life won't get fast forwarded that way! And there is no need to do it. And there is no point in doing it. If all I wanted was to find myself in a set pattern, I already had it when I had the job, didn't I? I think I was a bit worried last night. That's all. And that's ok.

Truth? This is a quite a phase. I don't remember when was the last time when I had absolutely no clue about tomorrow. And two days after the exam, I have no idea about what to do now. Oh yea, I've got some things to do to nicely spend my time.. but I don't know what to do when I come back from this vacation. When is the vacation supposed to end? Whenever I say so. Next week. Next month. Tomorrow.

It is amazing how we could work 14 hours a day and fit into that lifestyle. Or do no work at all and fit into that lifestyle. We get used to things. We find ways to live life. Still crib, yes. But live it as it comes. Shape it as it comes. Make a pattern out of it. Be it a 9 to 6. Be it total chaos.

This truth has another side. The thought that we could change our life. Choose a pattern. Maybe within the environment that's been provided to us. But we could. And then we'll learn to live it.

I do totally respect this phase! I feel so different. I'm thinking of the poem "Sundar Mi Honar" (I shall be beautiful). I will post it as soon as I find it. It talks about the changes in life. Rebirth. The faith in a beautiful future. Quite serene...

Just like this phase.

P.S : To whosoever 'duhed' my last post: I hereby mark my first real post in 2012.

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