To Pray

Why do we pray, wish, hope?

There are innumerable things we would like to change. Right from today's headline to our hidden fears...
And so many things which we would like to remain forever. The security of being a part of our family or community, the courage we gather for taking up a challenge we must take up...,

Can we really control things? Nope. And we know that we can't. That is why we pray, wish, hope.

But does that help? When I was a kid, if I said something bad, my grandparents used to tell me to be careful about what I say, cause God would simply, literally grant me whatever I ask for. I remember ridiculing it and yet trying not to say anything that I might regret later. Later I stopped asking for something every time I visited a temple. If I don't feel complete devotion I just utter a simple greeting and be done. But when I do pray, I try to wish for the exact thing I want. I believe it would work, not because there is a God waiting to fulfill my wishes, but because it has become one of the ways to meditate about what I really want. Sometimes I have wondered that I could use this method to educate myself to want what I think I should want. But every time, it turned out that what 'I should want' is really what 'I do want'. There is only one way for the meditation to work. To be absolutely honest. Cause if we are not, we can't be devoted to our wishes. Devotion comes from honesty. And that is all we have in our hands.

To be honest.

That is the best way to do things. With complete honesty. Acting honest. Trying honest. Hoping and wishing honest. And praying honest.

This Birth, This Life Should Be Loved A Hundred Times

या जन्मावर या जगण्यावर शतदा प्रेम करावे

चंचल वारा या जलधारा भिजली काळी माती

हिरवे हिरवे प्राण तशी ही रुजून आली पाती

सहा ऋतुंचे सहा सोहळे येथे भान हरावे

या जन्मावर या जगण्यावर शतदा प्रेम करावे

बाळाच्या चिमण्या ओठांतून हाक बोबडी येते

वेलीवरती प्रेम प्रियेचे जन्म फुलांनी घेते

नदीच्या काठी सजणासाठी गाणी गात झुरावे

या जन्मावर या जगण्यावर शतदा प्रेम करावे

या ओठांनी चुंबून घेईन हजारदा ही माती

अनंत मरणे झेलून घ्यावी इथल्या जगण्यासाठी

इथल्या पिंपळपानावरती अवघे विश्व तरावे

- मंगेश पाडगावकर

Today is India's Independence Day. 

This poem is not part of the Independence Day celebrations. It was written with poet's local surroundings in mind. And it is very mild when compared to poems dedicated to the nation. Frankly, it is very difficult to choose one poem to share on Independence Day. I was listening to people talking about specialties of India on radio. Someone mentioned the 6 seasons experienced in the country and the marvelously written line from this poem came to my mind.

This is one of the poems that have stayed with me. Another blend of nature with human life by the poet.

Below is an attempt at translation. As soon as I finish reading the translation, I realize how beautiful the original poem reads.. :)

"This birth, this life should be loved a hundred times.

Playful breeze, these streams, the drenched black soil

These weeds have come up as lush green lives

Six festivals of six seasons, the mind gets lost in them.

This birth, this life should be loved a hundred times.

The birdlike tiny lips of the kid call in sweet voice

The flowers on a vine are but the birth of a lover's love

She sings and longs for her dear at the river bank...

This birth, this life should be loved a hundred times.

I shall kiss this soil a thousand times

Infinite deaths should be accepted for one chance to live here

The whole universe would rest on a leaf of the peepal tree of this land"

- Mangesh Padgaonkar

सुंदर मी होणार 2 : I shall be beautiful 2

At the end of this post, I mentioned the poem सुंदर मी होणार (I shall be beautiful). Here it is:

जुनी इंद्रिये, जुना पिसारा, सर्व सर्व झडणार

नव्या तनूचे, नव्या शक्तिचे पंख मला फुटणार

सुंदर मी होणार, सुंदर मी होणार - 

मृत्यू म्हणजे वसंत माझा, मजवरती फुलणार

सौंदर्याचा ब्रह्मा तो मज सौंदर्ये घडणार

सौंदर्ये घडणार, सौंदर्ये घडणार

- Poet Govind, as mentioned in the play Sundar Mi Honar by Pu La Deshpande

(The poet is handicapped. He imagines death as the event that would discard the old body and present him with a brand new one. New body. New strength. Death, would be like Spring. And the God of creation of beauty, shall work on his beauty himself.)

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Do I believe in the literal concept? I don't know. I do not bother myself too much about the concept of rebirth. But this poem is surely wonderful as a metaphor...

When things come to an end, they make way for new ones.

Bronzo the Beast

[I wrote this post somewhere in January. It got lost somewhere in my drafts. Here it goes..]

I finally purchased a new laptop. It took exactly 1 month to arrive. When I saw the huge thing I realized I have bought something significant after a long time. Been around 7 years since I bought a mobile phone, don't remember when I bought a wrist watch last time, and I've already used my last laptop so extensively that it gave up last week... shut down with a sharp sound.. and I don't expect it to work anymore.

So here this machine arrives...
It is biiig! 17.3" and I had no idea how big it would be! Heavy. 3.41kg. Lovely anti-glare display with 1600x900 HD+
I wish it was sturdy too.. It is just a heavy machine which you have to handle with utmost care. And I am not yet used to the keyboard.

This thingi is bronze in color. So it is huge AND it has its own character. On first night, I couldn't sleep cause I kept thinking it was too good a screen for me and too huge a machine. It was like a monster who was in my room and I thought maybe I should get up and put it out of the room in order to be able to get any decent sleep. I actually slept in a different room next night. But still woke up in the middle of the night thinking if I should get rid of it. I had given a name to my last laptop. So I gave a name to this guy too.. It's called "Bronzo". Trust me, the name doesn't help either. I should probably change it to "Goofy" or something to make it less heavy.

Do I really own Bronzo?? This is a really heavy machine. (I know I've already said it enough times.. but it IS!) I love it despite the not so good points. And I am overwhelmed by it. I better get used to it quickly. Even though I'd spoil myself by doing so..! Lovely screen... Lovely...

[I still love it. I am still overwhelmed. Luckily I don't need to carry it anywhere as of now. So I am totally enjoying my beasty]

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Here are the pics..

 

The Vaio is real. Exactly half of Bronzo.

This Santro, however, is a toy car.

define 'Tea'cher: one who lives on tea (A popular Marathi PJ)

I was traveling from Nashik to Pune two nights back. The bus stopped for refreshments midway. I was sleepy and unhappy by the traffic jam we had faced so I decided not to get down.
.
..
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Ha! One minute in the bus, looking at the beautiful moon, and I automatically walked down! I went to the restaurant, got a cup of tea and sat at this table. But nah! something was missing. So I moved out and sat at the stairs looking at the moon..

.. sipping the tea.. feeling relaxed. The unhappiness melting away.

Now when I am writing it down; I remember doing similar thing during my Hostel stay.. Get a cup of tea and come out of the canteen to sit at the stairs. It used to leave a smile on my face.

It is partially the drink itself and partially the feeling of holding a cozy hot cup in my hands and spending those moments pampering myself.

I had once done a presentation on a Tea Vending Machine I wanted to make. Of course, that was a completely fake ambition chosen for a forced presentation on 'why do I want to work in embedded systems'. At that time I was just getting introduced to Data Structures. And which area in CS I wanted to work in after graduation was out of my range question. But I had derived the Tea Vending Machine idea from a casual conversation about how I use tea to ease out my body pain, headache, bad mood, cold and what not.

I am not addicted to tea, though I do like it a lot. It is a medicine that is cheapest for some forms of physical uneasiness. When I say cheap, I mean more from the side-effects point of view. Tea is also one of the many tiny things that bring sweet family times.

If you are a tea-drinker too, you gotta read this quote (by Praveen Davane, a marathi lyricist and writer) -

" चहाची किक कॉफीला येत नाही हे अस्सल चहाची बरोबर ओळखुन असतो." (A true tea drinker knows that coffee doesn't have the 'kick' that tea has)

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I often relate this quote to the ginger in tea. What refreshing element ginger is! Sometimes, do also try ginger juice with a sprinkle of lemon juice. A spoon or two of this mixture. Just that. No tea. No milk. No heating. It is a preparation you mix with some Ayurvedic medicine (sootshekhar) for curing headache. I sometimes take it without that medicine for a minor pain. Works.

Today's Breakfast Special

I started going for morning walk with dad from yesterday. Today he introduced me to an old gentleman who runs a compact breakfast stall, with 4-5 items in those many small tin containers. Dad often brings breakfast from him. And I like his Poha, which is what I ate today.

He is running 79. He has never eaten in a hotel, he said, "and so I can bet I have no threat for next 10 years." His elder sister is 92 and still cooks her own meals.

He knows 7 languages. Talks English very confidently.

He runs the breakfast stall to collect money for his granddaughter who, he said, is so brilliant that who knows what will she become after she grows up -

"She's currently in 6th standard and has already collected around 50-60 certificates from school and outside. She recently made a hot air balloon that flies when she puts a candle inside it. And now she's going to get a certificate for herself and a trophy for her school for that balloon."

She has won a scholarship and the continuation of that scholarship depends on an exam that will be held in April. "..but she has already prepared whole syllabus for that exam."

She studies in a reputed old school in Pune, the same school my childhood hero (Faster Fene) from a fiction series studied in. I wonder if she has read those stories? She is at a perfect age for those books.

सुंदर मी होणार : I Shall Be Beautiful

Aah! Update time...

Boings! I left my job back in November. Spent three months preparing for GATE for doing Post Grad from one of the IITs. I gave GATE on Sunday. Messed up. So now I've got to think what to do next and how to do it better than this exam. :)

Last night I was thinking how it would be if life could be fast forwarded by some 10-15 years.. I'd be settled already.. I'd know how it looks to me.. I'd have a pattern set and I'd simply be following it. A contrasting situation from today. (Life begins at 40, eh?)

But of course life won't get fast forwarded that way! And there is no need to do it. And there is no point in doing it. If all I wanted was to find myself in a set pattern, I already had it when I had the job, didn't I? I think I was a bit worried last night. That's all. And that's ok.

Truth? This is a quite a phase. I don't remember when was the last time when I had absolutely no clue about tomorrow. And two days after the exam, I have no idea about what to do now. Oh yea, I've got some things to do to nicely spend my time.. but I don't know what to do when I come back from this vacation. When is the vacation supposed to end? Whenever I say so. Next week. Next month. Tomorrow.

It is amazing how we could work 14 hours a day and fit into that lifestyle. Or do no work at all and fit into that lifestyle. We get used to things. We find ways to live life. Still crib, yes. But live it as it comes. Shape it as it comes. Make a pattern out of it. Be it a 9 to 6. Be it total chaos.

This truth has another side. The thought that we could change our life. Choose a pattern. Maybe within the environment that's been provided to us. But we could. And then we'll learn to live it.

I do totally respect this phase! I feel so different. I'm thinking of the poem "Sundar Mi Honar" (I shall be beautiful). I will post it as soon as I find it. It talks about the changes in life. Rebirth. The faith in a beautiful future. Quite serene...

Just like this phase.

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P.S : To whosoever 'duhed' my last post: I hereby mark my first real post in 2012.

2012, Here I Come!

Just wanted to mark a post in 2012 :)

A lot of things happened since August 2011. Life's taken such a turn! But I would like to spend some time to write a full post about that. So not doing it right now. Maybe after a month.

Till then, well, I should write something here:

So here it goes:

something :P